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I'm In Love With A Stripper..

Ok, so no i'm not really in love with a stripper. But i'm not going to lie, I do kind of love the thought of it all.

You see, last night, myself and some friends went to a strip club. I have always wanted to go to one to know what actually goes on behind closed doors and see what they are really like and not just how I see them on films.

This was my first time in a strip club in London and I was actually quite excited. You see, the only other time I have been to a strip club was in Amsterdam a year ago. The place was vile. Not only was it cold and gloomy but the girls were already naked and happy to put their vagina in your face. LITERALLY. We had bought a dance for one of the boys and the girl giving him the dance actually put his nose into her asshole. Hole. Yes. ASSHOLE! That to me was really gross and degrading for them, then again, it was Amsterdam and I should have expected that we were going to be knee deep in clunge. Wellie boots please!!

So in we walked. The interior was very nice. Quite welcoming to be honest. Was not gloomy and dirty but in fact quite smart and classy. The first thing to catch my eye were swings at the bar. How fun is that!! The second thing I noticed was the fact half of the girls in this place were UGLY! When you see a strip club in a film, all the girls are beautiful with nice breasts and mysterious eyes. Not here. Most of the ladies were Eastern European and not that good looking with bad hair extensions and an even worse attitude.

So down Max, Anna and I sit and straight away girls are looking at us. At first I am not sure if it is Max's muscly arms that caught their attention, or the fact that he was there with Anna and I. Bit odd for a guy to go to a strip club with two girls I guess. Then again, Anna and I are not your average kind of girls. So first round of drinks come anf our first stripper comes and sits down with us. After a while she can tell we are not interested and walks off to a group of Asian guys. So the three of us are sitting there having a laugh, catching up and watching girls dance on a pole. One of the girls dancing caught my eye for having massive tattoos down the right side of her body, but also for knowing how to dance on that pole. Let me tell you, girl could dance.

I looked around the club to see the kind of people inside. On one table there was a group of white guys in suits. Business meeting maybe? Not sure but they were soon enough joined by some girls. On another table is a group of Asian guys. Also in suits. After work fun clearly! Then I see an old guy sitting on his own. Girls keep going to say hi and kissing him hello. Obviously he is a regular and knows them all well. Part of me wondered why a guy clearly in his mid 60's was spending his nights in a strip club? Boredm? Lonliness?

So after some food and more drinks, down sits *FiFi. At first I had actually said that she was odd looking and Russian where in fact she was pretty decent and English. Our conversation included our love of games such as Tetris and Solitaire and how her boyfriend does not know she does this job. Fifi was telling me how she has danced her whole life including Burlesque dance. Before working in a strip club too, she had an office job but after spending most of her day playing solitaire, she knew it was not for her. She was really lovely and nice to talk to. After some chit chat, FiFi went to dance on stage.

Some other girls then came to sit with us and talk to us. It is funny to talk to them when they are so normal. The first perception you get is that they must be dirty slores and miserable and not nice to talk to, when in fact they are normal girls just trying to make some money. And do they make money!! i had to ask, I was very intreigued. So there I am sat in a strip club talking to FiFi, Sunshine and Cat about the kind of money they make. They pay the club to basically rent space lets call it. That is about 80 pounds a night. Once they have covered that, everything else is theirs. They can make anything from 100 - 1000 pounds a night. Each dance they give is done in a private area away form your table at 20 pounds a dance. You are not allowed to touch the girls. Security is very tight and people are always looking to make sure things are all good. People will also buy the girls drinks so it is often that they are getting drunk.
Getting drunk on the job and making maybe 500 pounds a night. Why am I not doing this? Haha!

About half an hour after talking to the girls, our friend Adam came to join us. More drinks were being bought. So it was the four of us and 5 of the strippers sat at our table. The ones that were not sat at our table were obviously very jelous as we were drinking, laughing and having a great time. The four of us then went to sit in a private area with four of the girls and we were all given a dance. Now I am the kind of girl who is up for anything. Ok, not anything, but most things. Seeing girls naked is not something new for me. I am naked with my girls all the time. To be honest, I actually did not know where to look. Four girls, four vajayjays and eight boobs. Max had a dance with FiFi, I had Sunshine, Anna had Cat and Adam had Melody. Melody was actually really pretty with great breasts and I kept looking over at her. My girls hair extensions were as rough as elephants hair which was a bit off putting to be honest. So once again my eyes were wondering. Catching the look on Anna's face and then to Adam and to Max. The grins on their faces were priceless. Adam was touching Anna's leg as obviously you cannot touch the girls and he was getting worked up.

In one sense, I think for guys its all just a bit of a prick tease. They get a dance, get a boner and cannot do anything about it. Is there point wasting your money on that? Why not I say. All for some fun and something different.

As girls, I can fairly say that Anna and I enjoyed ourselves. New experience and all. I would deffinately go back. Not because I am into the girls but at the end of the day it is actually nice to hang out and drink there and also nice to talk to the girls. If anyone wants to come, let me know, come along and join :)

Little Miss V..xx

(twitter = @LittleMissVak )
(email = blogdoll21@gmail.com)
(facebook = http://www.facebook.com/#!/LMissV )

When Sex Goes Wrong..

Hey dolls,

Sorry it has been a while since I last blogged but lets just hope it was worth the wait!

After talking with some friends about sex (obviously something I talk about a bit too often) and things that can go wrong, we started to have a real laugh at the stories that were coming up. You know, when cum goes in your eye and you think you are blinded or someone walks in on you etc.

I will start with myself.. Let me just add that this is a story that not many people know as I have always been completely embarassed by this and the thought of it still takes me back to the shock.. anyway..
A few years back I was seeing this guy and it was all going great. One day I was at his and he was going down on me. From the minute he started, I knew I was going to have to fake it and actually think of something to get me wet (I think at the time it was Channing Tatum dancing naked) as his tongue was not doing it for me. The boy had no clue what he was doing. Ten minutes in and me getting bored by his obscure ways of licking a vagina, he could tell I was getting restless, so he started going for it. Next thing I remember was screaming and kicking him in the face. He fell off the bed, I was in agony. I put my hand down to my vagina which was throbbing and not in a nice 'Jacob from Twilight is naked' kind of way. He had bitten my vajayjay. I was bleeding. Boy bit me!! I got dressed, left and refused to ever speak to him again. He obviously was very apologetic. I told him to do one.

Awful I know. Another embarassing time for me was in Spain a few years back. I had gone out with my cousin and a bunch of her friends and we got really drunk and ended up in a kareoke bar where I was actually being stalked by a midget. (I have pictures to prove this!) Anyway, I ended up getting with one of my cousins friends and ended up back at his. Or his Grandma's! After a bit of fun and frolicks I decided it was time for me to go. However, he did not want me to turn on the light as we might wake
up his grandma (don't worry, she was not in the same room) so I could not find my top. So in the end, he gave me one of his shirts. Spot the skank whore. Walking through the port at about 4am when the last few drunks were still out, wearing my denim skirt and this oversized shirt that you could see my bra through. He walked me back to my cousins appartment and as I walked in, my cousin just looked
at me and laughed.

Ok, enough about me.
Meet my friend *Joe. Joe had been with his girlfriend for some time and decided the bed was boring and wanted to try having sex elsewhere. So Joe lifted his girlfriend up onto a set of drawers he had in his room and they started having sex.
A few minutes in, there was a weird noise but neither gave it too much attention as things were getting steamy.Now, they wish they would have paid attention. The drawers gave in and Joe's girlfriend fell, penis still inside her. The drawers could not take her weight and they broke. As did his cock. 999 - AMBULANCE! Joe was rushed to hospital with a snapped penis. He had to have his foreskin cut off and have the muscles in his penis stitched back together. It took three months to heal and he could not have sex or even masturbate for all that time.
SHAME!

My friend *Brad is a massive flirt and funny guy. A few years ago he went travelling with two of his boy friends. When in Figi, Brad met a cute petite girl at a party who he knew he wanted to have his way with. As the party was coming to a close, Brad hinted to the girl that they should go down to the beach. She was more than happy to join him. Straight away they started to get it on. She kept hearing noises and telling Brad but he told her to ignore them. Brad knew full well what the noises were. BUGS. He was so drunk and wanted a shag he didn't care. They had sex and as he pulled his cock out, he saw a bug crawl into her vagina. Brad screamed and ran off. He does not know what happened to the girl.

Meet *Sandy. A girl who cracks me up with every story she tells. She met a guy called *Jonny through some friends and took quite a liking to him. They started meeting up and after some time were seeing eachother quite often. They would go out and kiss and hold hands, all very cute. One night Sandy decided to cook for Jonny and make things romantic. They had a great dinner, drank some wine and moved on to the bedroom. They started kissing and clothes started flying accross the room and onto the bed they went. Sandy was very excited to finally have sex with Jonny. She really liked him and knew it was going to be great. How wrong she was. Jonny started to make very weird noises and started screaming whilst having an orgasm. Sandy lay there shocked. Jonny was shaking and making noises like a little girl. He then came. He then collapsed onto Sandy and then sat up again. She looked at him and burst out laughing. Her exact words to him were, "Are you serious???!!" Put it this way, she ended things with him the next day! HAHA!

Let me introduce you to *Tony. Tony is a guy I have known for a few years, and let me tell you, is gorgeous. All the girls want a piece! One night, a week after Tony had an operation on his arm he went to the pub with some friends.
A few days later, a girl he knows phones him up and said a girl she was with at the pub the other day fancied him and would probably sleep with him. Tony was not really phased but let the girl give her friend his number. An hour or so later, Tony gets a call from a random number and it happens to be the girl from the pub, *Tanya. They chat for a bit and Tanya asks Tony if he was free to get a drink later that night. So later that night, Tony went to pick up Tanya and they went for a drink. She had already been drinking and was already pretty wasted. OVer a drink, she starts
getting cheeky and asks Tony what the naughtiest thing he ever did was. Tony comes back with usual men answers, "had a threesome" or "slept with my French teacher in school." Tanya then asks him if he is going to fuck her and they soon get in his car. Tanya then tells him she does not want to go back to her flat but rather go to her parents house. Tony knew this was a bit odd but he went along with it. As they arrive to the house, she tells him to wait so she can turn of the CCTV cameras. This was the first moment Tony should have driven away. In they go and she tells him to wait on the bed whilst she changes. She comes back in sexy lingerie and tells him to lie on the bed so she can massage him. Out comes the lotion and she starts massaging him, down his legs, up his back, around his balls then WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAAM up goes her finger in his ass! He was in shock, pushed her off with his one good arm and turned around to have sex. The whole time, she had told Tony to keep his voice down as her parents were next door and next thing you know it, he is shagging her brains out and she is screaming and all of a sudden, a voice from next door goes "shh!" They both cum and Tony gets dressed. Tanya then starts saying she wants to go again but Tony says he needs to leave. She blocks the door and tells him he cannot leave as her husband is asleep next door, not her parents. He said he needs to leave to take pills for his arm and Tanya starts laughing saying she should have taken her pills. Tony asked what pills she takes. Her reply, "the doctor gives me pills as my sex drive is too high. I can finger myself up to 6 times a day. I love sex. Fuck me again?"
Tony pushes her out the way and dashes to his car. He phones his cousin to tell her of his mad night to which his cousin laughes hysterically. He knew of this Tanya and informed Tony how she had been in a mental home a few years back and is a sex addict.


I hope these stories have kept you all entertained and if you have any stories of your own you would like to share please comment here or tweet me @LittleMissVak or email blogdoll21@gmail.com and keep updated on my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/LMissV

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

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